English 101

     This may be brave of me to state this, especially when I'm announcing this to the public. But here it goes...I think I sound just the same as any other American when I speak English.

      If my friends and probably my classmates as well heard of this, they would either giggle, burst out in laughter or just stare at me in awe as if I made a disturbing statement. But the truth is, I don't hear what they hear. As for me, I can point out grammatical and pronunciation mistakes when other people speak English.

      I started to learn English when I was in fourth grade at an American international school in Singapore. I was forced to engage with my teachers and peers when all I could force out of my mouth was “Hello” and “My name is Sally.” I stayed at an English intensive programs such as ESL (English as a Second Language) when my friends were taking regular English classes with my homeroom teacher, Mrs. Tomerlin. I felt ostracized and at that young age, almost hopeless as I constantly felt as if I was behind and not matching up to the game.

      Now that I'm attending college in the United States, I feel as though I've mastered the language. I'm more than comfortable speaking and writing in it and I think in English. I've reached a point where I mostly dream in English. For the first time, I feel confident.

      When my friends say, “you're such a Korean/Japanese” or “you're such a fob,” I don't mind because it's true- I've never lived in the States and at times I have no idea of some of the slang words that my friends often use. I actually find it funny and gleeful that my friends are so interested in the world that I came from.

      But one issue that concerns me the most is that people tell me that I have an accent and I speak in the manner of English teachers (they say that I speak in a formal manner). Although I constantly attempt in trying to see this minimal difference in the positive light, that I stand out from the crowd, more and more I tend to believe that they are just petty mistakes that I never adjust.

      During a typical conversation, I would just note, “Oh yeah, she is coming as well.” The “as well” is apparently too formal and anachronistic. I would pronounce the word dilemma as “dye-llema” not “dee-llema” and ostensibly that is wrong too. Am I just being too sensitive as it happens to everyone or am I really that distinct from others?

      I can't help to wonder (Carrie's famous line from the show, Sex and the City), would an American person, stereotypically with blonde hair and blue eyes receive as much constructive criticism on their English like me? Would anyone notice my ethnicity if they only heard my voice?

      Hmmm...some ideas worth experimenting.